Last Sunday morning I ended up in (another) real estate conversation. No, I’m not a Realtor, but in Virginia they are 33,000 of my closest friends whose commitment to their industry results in me being employed so I have a vested interest in “the biz.”

A new friend, homeowner who purchased in 2007, was running down the details of his horrible experience. From fees he wasn’t informed about to the shape-shifting closing dates, he talked about a few all-to-common hurdles many buyers face their first go round.

This friend expressed some pretty deep Realtor®-hate during the conversation, “My Realtor® didn’t do anything at all.” He also said, “I walked out on closing twice.”

His comment about the lazy-agent is the reason for this post and the second, I think, is the key to a much needed next action for us consumers.

Why is it that consumers tolerate poor customer service in a real estate transaction that they wouldn’t in a restaurant or a shoe store? Is it the complexity of the deal? Or, the google-induced DIY mentality that makes think we always have to “do it ourselves?” Either way, I think there’s something wrong with 1) lazy real estate agents and 2) the consumers who tolerate them.

I appreciate all Realtors® (and their dues dollars), but the reality is they are not all equal service providers. Yes, service providers. Yes, that is what they do. And just like in all other service industries, consumers have a choice.

I am not (generally) a buffet fan for two reasons: First, the general population breathing on my food is not an appealing thought and second, I can serve myself food (very good food) in the comfort of my own kitchen.

When I go out to a restaurant I expect a service, specifically good service. This involves “a server” whose responsibility is to keep me informed, keep me happy, and assist me through my transaction/meal.

I, like most, have been restaurants that have run out of something I want (like crabcakes…yum crabcakes…I’m hungry…ok sorry for the tangent). In a lot of cases, the unfortunate shortage of something I wanted to order hasn’t kept me from having a good experience. Why? Because of good service.

On the other side of the spectrum, my friends will tell you I will avoid some places with great food because the service is horrible. Why? Because that’s my choice.

In real estate, consumers STILL have a choice.

My homeowner friend’s second comment and response to hidden fees at closing is a lesson to us all. We have the right to walk out on a deal. Even in real estate.

In efforts to get the service he needed, he had to walk away until his Realtor® and other parties involved informed him, assisted him, and made him happy….er.

In the end, this guy got through the transaction and got a deal he could be happy with. Sadly, I think he could’ve gotten it done with a lot less hassle and stress because I personally know 12 great agents in his area who provide great service.

In our conversation I commended him for walking out, but told him he should’ve taken it a step further. I suggested that next-time he find another agent.

There are enough great real estate service providers – agents, settlement pros, lenders, etc. – that consumers don’t have to tolerate sub-standard service.

I think the more we tolerate lazy agents and bad service, the more we perpetuate the trend and survival of horrible service providers  who ruin the name and reputation of a great industry.

Many of my Realtor-tweets are always chatting about “Raising the Bar” in real estate. As a consumer, I think part of that bar-raising is our job.

When my service is bad in a restaurant, I don’t pay the check. Furthermore, I’ve seen some great places lose revenue and even go under because many people feel like I do. I feel like I have a choice.

Consumers, aren’t we (through our decision making) the determinants of who survives in business? Don’t we have the power to say “no” to sub-standard service?

I firmly believe that association, government regulators, and service-providers themselves should all play a part in industry professionalism (especially in real estate). But, I think there’s also a burden on us (the consumers).

So my question to anyone who has a bad real estate experience is always the same: Didn’t you have a choice?

You choose the agent. You choose the lender. You choose the experience. When you don’t you ruin not only your own transaction, but an entire industry.

I am sitting here mid-oscar and I’ve had a few man-tears tonight. [I have to call them man-tears b/c it makes them sound better, right?] The man-tears are because I know what it’s like to dream and from time-to-time be recognized.

Recognizing people is not a highly utilitarian act, but it is one of the most valuable in the human experience and I hope we don’t lose that.

By “we,” I mean this generation of teens and twenty-somethings that are growing up in…

(pause I am having man-tears again b/c Monique just one)

…Growing up in a world of recessions, strategy, efficiency, technology, and efforts to improve productivity. We are marked the “X-ters” and “Nexters,” but I hope in our aim for a more productive world we don’t leave behind the best traditions of the one we were born into. Especially the traditions of honoring each other and dreaming. Maybe I am making a fuss about nothing, but tonight’s striking a chord with me because it’s a much needed reminder that dreams still matter and honor exists.

Tomorrow I am going to find a way to celebrate someone who’s dreaming because tonight’s Oscars reminded me that honor and dreams still matter.

I’m sneezing over a keyboard writing this one, so I have no idea if I’ll get this entire thought out (Sidenote: Clorox makes a great keyboard disinfectant for laptops). But none-the-less….Burnout.

I’m a go-getter – a self-starter who loves to have an objective and has REALLY high personal standards. Consequently, when I am working most of the time I am not working for my employer, cause, or even money. I get to a point with most tasks where I start to “envision” a product and that can be very dangerous.

Why? Glad you asked…

If you’re fortunate enough to manage a “go-getter,” one thing you really need to be on the lookout for is burnout. Us go-getters are often visionaries/idealists and we don’t work for you. We work for a greater good, noble causes, innovative ideas, to serve, to succeed, to meet the goal, to stun the crowd, to “change the game, ” and that makes us very dangerous. Dangerous because while we don’t work for you, depending on the maturity stage and the product in our view, the sad fact is we don’t work for us either….and that is a recipe for disaster/danger/ (standby for a really big word…..)……cataclysmic exigency, also known as burnout.

Quotes and Signs of pending Cataclysmic Exigency a.k.a. Burnout
(I am sick and trying to sound smart…sue me)

• Quote: “This will change the way we do business…”
  Famous last words before therapy to repair a psychotic break. Lol. No really, change is good. But change after change after change after change can be hell on someone who’s determined and focused. Many organizations lose some of there best and brightest talent right after their biggest successes, because while all can agree change can be good, many organizations don’t assess or assign the appropriate value to the human costs.

• Quote: “I have no idea why anyone would ever do [insert task] this way…”
  When undoing months, years, or generations of bad policy/processes and their effects, make sure you watch the real workers on staff. Correcting inefficiencies can quickly become black holes of time, energy, and morale for the motivated. These sort of tasks cost organizations something really important if not monitored and managed – Their internal reputation. I know of more than a few corporate giants that I would NEVER work for because of colleagues, coworkers, and friends who’ve told shocking internal horror stories. Today’s motivated workers know all that glitters is not gold. Make sure while you are fixing problems, you maintain your reputation with those who are helping you re-steer the ship.

• Sign: Mr. Hyde the crying Ware-wolf
  Remember the person you hired? Are you having trouble finding him/her? When personalities start to morph, take notice. When the strong willed start to cry, the peaceful start to fight, and your Jekyll’s become Hyde it’s your sign that you need to manage before you lose your most valuable asset – the people on your team.

• Quote/Sign: “Cheesecake Anyone?” – The Golden Girls effect
  

  Cheesecake Factory Tuxedo Cheesecake = Bliss

  Are the chairs in your office looking a little stressed? Are the buttons of your team members under duress? Pay attention. A 2007 article from Psychology Today explains in-depth why stress causes people to eat (it’s a decent read if you’re a dork like me), but simply chronic stress causes people to eat. A much-less scientific example of this are America’s early 90′s sweethearts Blanch, Dorothy, Sophia and Rose – also known as the Golden Girls. In most episodes, the Goldies ended their days or coped with their stress through cheesecake. In result, season-by-season they get wider-and-wider. If you’re a manager, an unconventional stress/burnout indicator might be wrapped up in a once-over of your staff or how they respond to a bowl of candy or free cake.

• Sign: Huddles of Unhappiness
  Coworker often means Commiserater (spell check says this isn’t word, I think it should be). If you see a lot of mini-huddles happening in the office, chances are folks are co-coping (another term I am inventing) with the stress. While these can be good for avoiding burnout, you want to keep an eye on their frequency as they may be an indicator of disaster ahead.

• Sign: W.R.I.D
  (pronounced Wah-Rihd) Work Related Immune Deficiency. Sick doesn’t always mean stress, but it might. The U.K.’s Chartered Institute of Personell and Development conducted a study that showed “Stress is likely to become the most dangerous risk to business in the early part of the 21st century.” Their study shows significant connections between stress level and sick leave of the 400,000+ employees surveyed. If your staff is abnormally sick, you might want start managing to avoid a burnout crisis

Like I said, I am writing this sick so I don’t have energy to give my take on Burnout, but here’s a link to a study that’s as old as I am, but has some timeless info on how to recognize and avoid burnout. I don’t agree with it all, but there’s a lot of good in it.

I’ll post a part two soon, on L.E.L (Limits-Expectations-Leave) which are my three quick tools for pre-navigating the burn-out issue.

“Adam lives in theory, trying to turn stone into bread, masquerading like he’s got it all figured out…” –Lauryn Hill

If I was a bigger spender, I would soo snatch this to commemorate this post...but I think I'll just link it for now and maybe someone will send me one in the future. lol.

I love Toto. Yeah Toto. You know the dog who galloped the yellow brick road with the Murder/Escapist/Hero [R.I.P Wicked East Witch who fell prey to Dorothy's house], the loveable Crash Dummy [straw for brains], the Social climber [who needed a heart], and the Muscle Head with something to prove.

I love Toto, because at the end of the day everyone else pretends to want meet the real wizard, but Toto’s the only one ballsey enough to looks behind the curtain. I’m Toto-ish in life. I keep looking behind the curtain messing up the story line for the other characters.

Social media space is scary for young professionals. Like most, I fear some stray word, comment, or mis-step will ruin the unknown unforeseen future career opportunity that might theoretically be the one thing that I want to potentially do for the rest of my life….which has an unknown length.

The theoretical thing I am planning to do sometimes has me a little “social-media shook”/afraid of OZ. And, for a lot of reasons. Here are a few of the big ones:

1. Status…- I Wish “Kansas” could see me now
   I’m doing pretty well in my career most would argue. I’m just a few notches away from the top of my organization in my mid-twenties. I’ve got a great boss and team that are committed to innovation. And, I am connecting to, I believe, the next wave of game changers in my line of work. I by no means plan to do what I’m doing now forever (for some not-so-unique reasons I’ll tackle in a future post), but all in all it’s been a great career step and with it has come a bit of status.

   Status has its benefits, but they’re paired with this feeling of responsibility to appreciate where you are and sometimes a guilt (of sorts) for wanting more. After all, some work their whole lives to get where I am…

2. Security… – Please don’t kick me out of OZ
   I like having a job. The student loan companies like that I like having a job. I like my car and where I live that are a result of the fact that I like having a job. I am fortunate enough to say, in a rough economy my job is actually in the field that I planned my career. I like this. This is valuable.

   As an inner-city youth from an urban area and single-parent household, from my background’s socio-economic outlook where I am now looks “secure.”

   Yes, I am aware that it is mostly an illusion, but factually I’ve carved a niche and am an asset to my employer. I like being an asset. Social media space has the potential to not only impair my value, but comes with this allure of honesty and false impression that your words don’t have consequences because after all….we’re all just talking right?

3. What I’ve Seen… -I don’t want to MEET, I want to BE the wizard
   I’m at my 4^th “real” job and I’ve sat around enough board tables to realize “all that succeeds is not smart or seemly.” Yup. I looked behind the curtain.

   And when I did I realized 1)I aimed too low in my career, 2) Titles/credentials don’t mean as much as they used to, 3)Personas/personae are hired more often than people, and 4) the Wizard might not be what I expected….but…uh…. he’s still the Wizard.

I’m not alone. Social media scares a lot of young professionals who have looked behind the curtain.

They may not like what they see, but they can’t help but respect the people who produced and run the OZ they work in. Hopes of status and security scare us “youngins” out of the social space because we’ve stared at the production in front of the curtains for too long and been made to feel like we need to put on our own production to succeed. A production which we’ve been taught requires a barrier.

This results in us working to become personas and not people. Real equitable engagement on- and off-line requires the opposite.

Equitable engagement, to me, is the connecting that’s helping you grow. And how do you do that from behind the curtain? How do you do that when you’re being a persona who knows it all and not a growing, eating, breathing, needy person?

The new generation of professionals and thinkers (they are not one and the same) sometimes miss out because they’ve seen the Wizard. The Wizard looks successful, and failure is scary. So, they hide behind curtains “masquerading like they’ve got it all figured out” feeling like they can’t be human.

I think we need to stop trying so hard to become personas and be human. That’s sort of why I wrote this because I’m just as scared as the next career climber, but my friend Micah told me once…

“Courage is not the absence of fear, it’s moving in spite of it…”

Toto had to be nervous, and I am too…but here we go…(next post in a few days)

Please pardon any errors. Sent via BlackBerry.

Posted via email from You clicked “Jovan.”